Low Hanging Fruit: Boomer Columnists Decry Rude Youth

Today in low hanging fruit . . .


The Grey Lady has published a few recent op-eds concerned with the apparent totalitarianism of the youth, who don’t want to see fascist speakers on their campuses and *gasp* are uncouth enough to protest fascists. I won’t bother linking to these articles. It’s just the usual gobble-gobble-gobble of the old about the young. Something about civility. A supposed call to enlightenment values of reason and that sort of thing.

But it’s a little fucking, bizarre no?

I mean, there’s plenty of reasons to decry the incivility of youth. Many of them don’t know a Windsor knot from a half Windsor, can’t even tie a bow-tie and eat by fastening themselves to the faces of unwary victims and inserting their long proboscis down the host’s throat to suck nutrients from the stomach. That they seem ignorant of the etiquette of waiting until their host is asleep to drop from the ceiling and feed is indeed troubling. This behavior should probably be stopped. They should learn some manners. But fighting fascists? Well, that’s not such a bad thing.

But that won’t stop these Baby Boomer columnists from decrying youthful anti-fascists as “mobbists.” These members of the worst generation never seem to stop and think that every single fucking freedom their generation has ever enjoyed was secured and defended by young people (their parents) who put on uniforms, got sent to hellholes and murdered enough Nazis to finally push the barbarians back outside the gates and shut those Nazi fuckers up for a few years. Hell, the boomers were only born because their parents had to put off some fucking for a few years while they went overseas to shoot Nazis and, when they were done, they were so happy about killing all those Nazis that they came straight home and fucked their brains out. But to hear these boomers tell it, many of them conceived on the hides on dead fascists, the war was won and the beaches of Normandy stormed by some silver-haired, op-ed columnists who demanded a civil conversation to convince the Nazis of the error of their ways. But that’s not what happened. You know why? Because the fascists would have killed them. That was kinda their thing.

Fascists have historically been in dialogue. Sure, they like to talk. They’ll want a free exchange of ideas. They’ll want that until the exact moment when they outnumber you. They view words as a tactic. A way to grow their numbers. A way to buy time. Not as vehicles of truth or thought but one of deception and war. And that’s exactly how they use it. It’s in their nature. It is their nature. Just ask Neville Chamberlain. Your average Nazi will champion free speech and talk-talk-talk right up to the moment when they think they can hit you without being hit back. They won’t just wait until they have an unfair advantage. No, that would still be too fair. They seek a lopsided advantage. A beat-down is what they like. A sucker-punch by night followed by a solid kicking. It’s not just an unfortunate component of their ideology but the essential one, from which all the others follow. They’re just bullies, basically. Shitheads too, but mainly, just bullies.

I suspect that a lot of these columnists have never been at a show or in a scene when the skinheads started creeping in. They’ve never actually dealt with Nazis. They seem to regard the existence of Nazis and fascists much as one would (or should) regard the existence of fairies. It’s only a word to them. An insult falsely lobbed at people one disagrees with. Fascists have never been real to them. They don’t even believe, not really, that fascists are a real thing. And, even if it is real, it certainly doesn’t include people capable of putting on a suit rather than combat boots.  Even when they see torches and swastikas, they look for other possible explanations. But leftists? Well, a hippie once called me fascist when I complained about the smell of marijuana getting on my blazer at this party I was at and, recently, a teen with a weird cartoon avatar once said I was a privileged on Twitter when I did a seven part series complaining about the trouble I have parking at Whole Foods and that really hurt my feelings so they’re actually the real threat and –let me blow your mind here– probably the exact same as fascists. Their total lack of experience might represent some obscure point of honor for these columnists but, holy fuck, it is a huge blind-spot. Their pig-ignorance just shines through.

Anyone who has ever been in a living situation infested with Nazis will tell you – Nazis are more dangerous with a stage than without one. The free exchange of ideas is always more imperiled by some preening Nazi with a microphone than it is by people protesting Nazis with microphones. Hell, it’s more imperiled by the lack of public education, textbooks, insane school costs and poverty than it is by these protesters. The idea of teachers with guns? That’s a bigger threat to the free exchange of ideas than these protesters. How free have you ever felt to exchange ideas with an armed authority figure? You want an open dialogue? Try that at a Skrewdriver show or some shit. See where that gets you. Or save some time and listen to people who know.

And it says a lot (too fucking much, really) to see how any leftist, even when speaking up against something as patently evil as real life Nazis, gets portrayed as some crazed, bully mobbist. You can imagine how this goes when the stakes are even lower than that.

Some of us, sadly, don’t even need to use our imagination on this one. Just our memory. In the case of both fascists and boomers, we need to know our history. In the case of fascists, dialogue does not work and they are disingenuous about their belief in the free exchange of ideas. In the case of boomers, when we finally fend off the fascists, yet again, and come home, fucking all over the place is fine, but please use birth control. This planet probably can’t withstand another generation like that one.

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