Owl Pellets: Wolf Metric

Bit sore today. Without getting into the gory details of last night’s workout, it included a sort of step-based farmer’s walk with two 45lb dumbbells and five rounds of jumping burpees. Either one of those things aches me up pretty good. Both together? Plus more? Well, that’s the first time I did that shit and I’m feeling it. I’m feeling it everywhere. Oh lord, am I feeling it.  From the feet up.

Day before that, I finished pre-algebra. Ended up with an A. Probably around 91% or 92%. I could calculate what exactly I got but I’m kinda sick of calculating shit.

And a my new to-be-read pile just arrived. (I tend to read in semi-themed piles.) These books aren’t directly related to school. (They’re just leisure reading, which means that I only really have the time to read them during my lunch break at work.)But this pile is a little inspired by school. I had to write two papers on The Great Gatsby English 101. The second paper is called “Instant Death: The Superluminal and Traumatized Paradoxes of The Great Gatsby.” Now, I think I probably spent more time than was strictly necessary on faster than light travel in a 101 paper that’s supposed to be about The American Dream’s effect on the characters but, oh well, what’s done is done. And the trauma aspect interested me so much that, well, I ended up going out and buying this . . .

20180324_113300

Anyway . . .

Escaping Twitter’s Self-Consciousness Machine:

. . . the ultimate function of Twitter, like nearly all social-media platforms, is to make its users insecure, because insecurity compels engagement. And nothing turns up the dial on our insecurity like viewing our communications, and ourselves, as mere numbers. This gamification of our social interactions is a component of what Sean Parker, the founding president of Facebook, and one of the leaders of the recent whistle-blower movement in tech, was referring to when he spoke of a “social-validation feedback loop.” By making you constantly, reductively think about others, your actions, and yourself as numbers, these platforms insure that you remain permanently self-conscious.

At work, where they keep numbers on just about everything you can imagine, they recently introduced a new system to track cashier speed in real time. There’s a little icon on the cash register. It’s green if the cashier is meeting the speed requirements set by corporate. Red if they’ve fallen below them. It’s a triangle with a little exclamation point in its center. I’m yet to see any cashier hit the green. I think that has got to be the point.

Minor leaguers could be paid minimum wage — and no more:

Of course, when it comes to paying the workers, the bosses are all of a sudden like:

“Our principal problem in the minor league wage lawsuit is that the administration associated with paying the minimum wage in our context is just ridiculous,” Commissioner Rob Manfred told The Times last year.

“Where am I going to put the time clock? Who is punching in and punching out? When I decide I want to go work out and lift weights, is that overtime? What if I decide I want to take extra batting practice? A minimum wage worker at McDonald’s can’t decide, ‘Hey, you know, I feel like working a few more hours today, so I’m just going to stay on the clock.’ Our guys do those sorts of things all the time.”

Numbers are hard and stuff! How is baseball supposed to know how to collect them? Not like it’s a metric dominated industry or anything. Not like Manfred has an issue with time clocks when it comes to putting on on the field and thereby imperiling the game.

Sticking to your diet? This tooth-mounted food sensor could transmit the truth:

The truth? Pretty lofty claim for a number collecting piece of hydrogel attached to a tooth but I digress . . .

Omenetto’s team has long been working on such radio frequency sensors—ones for the skin, brain, and surgical implants. It made sense to move to the mouth, Omenetto tells Ars. “There are a plethora of markers in the mouth that… are very relevant to our health states,” he said. But the team was in talks with the nutrition researchers at Tufts that they thought “’gee, wouldn’t it be great if you could track your diet.’”

Gee! Golly! Gee golly willikers! What could possibly go wrong with that? As if people aren’t already insecure enough about their diets. As if this could not be put to nefarious use. You know where we need Facebook? In our mouths. Right in our mouths. Open up. Say ahhhh.

Raised by Wolves: Say AHHOOOOO!

There are…indications that human social and even ethical systems—which many admire and hold, at least in theory, to be the highest achievement of humanity—were invented first by early canids.

AHOOOOO!

You know, I get a lot of metrics in my life. Some are applied to me and some I apply willing to myself, in the case of the gym for example. And it’s not totally lost on me that I come home after a hard day of dealing products on timed treadmills and relax by running on a timed treadmill. I suppose we conceptualize heaven or leisure however we can and, in my case, that seems to mean aspiring to being a product. They have it so easy, those products. Just get put on the treadmill, get scanned and stuck in the bag. Then into the mouth, and out of the body and straight into the toilet. Flush. What a life that would be! What ease and simplicity! But, still, in spite of all that, I sometimes have the nostalgia for nature.  I sometimes just want to run off into the park with the wolves. Just me and a wolf running forever on a treadmill to nowhere. And AHOOOO!

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