Houseplant

I had to buy a houseplant to try to humidify my place. It’s very dry here in Busan. Like, wake up with a dry tongue dry. And I know what you’re thinking: Why the hippie shit? Why not just buy a humidifier like a normal human? What is this – some sort of back to nature search for true meaning and the authentic self? Did you get a divorce? Get it together, Oakley! Thing is, I would buy a humidifier but there was just a big humidifier problem. They were killing people. And not just eventually killing people either, like smoking or life itself. No, real killing. Like mustard gas killing. Like 100 dead and an executive in jail killing. So, yeah, I thought I’d give that a pass. Even if it means using nature’s garbage and having a fucking plant. Anyone know how not to kill this thing?

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