Comet Fragments

FC Seoul apologizes for putting sex dolls in stadium: Seems like a football club populated its pandemic emptied stands with sex dolls. My main takeaway here is just some weird sort of nostalgia — this whole story just seems like perfect vintage The Grumpy Owl blog topic. My other thing is that I’m happy the sex dolls are wearing masks but I have to believe that’s more to cover their suggestive mouths than to prevent disease considering they’re, you know, inanimate objects. Kind of weird we don’t think about our mouths more. Like, we basically shove food into some sort of facial sex/breathing/eating hole, that food gets chewed in, then it gets dumped into an internal meat bag where it’s soaked in acid, and none of this is even considered the weirdest or most disgusting part of eating.

Canadian Forces Snowbirds jet crashes in Kamloops, B.C., killing 1, injuring another: Speaking of vintage Grumpy Owl content, this example of that weirdly precise brand of Canadian incompetence that occurs at the exact intersection of tragedy and farce also has to be a competitor. Basically, the snowbirds, which are some pathetic attempt for Canada to showcase its military might (?!) and it’s unquestionable and famous dominance over the air (!) ended up crashing while doing fly-overs as part of its “cross-country tour to raise people’s spirits during the COVID-19 pandemic.” This shit is just so stupid. At the best of times, the snowbirds are crap propaganda for a thing that’s not even real or even important and they can’t even do that right. And these military jet tricks to raise morale? Fucking ludicrous. What a waste of money, now a life, and everyone’s time. Just scrap that shit. Has anyone ever looked at the snowbirds ever, in the history of the snowbirds, and felt their morale boosted?

Irish support for Native American Covid-19 relief highlights historic bond: In 1847, right after The Trail of Tears, the Choctaw nation somehow raised and gave money to help the Irish during The Great Potato Famine. Now, COVID-19 has his the Najavo and Hopi pretty damn hard and the Irish people are trying to return the favor and giving money here and you can too. I don’t like to get all judgey about people but I feel like if you even have a drop of Irish blood, you need to send some cash here. And, if you don’t have any such blood and you don’t send some money, I don’t ever want to see you drunk, wearing some fucking leprechaun hat, singing along with The Pogues on St. Patrick’s Day again. Consider those privileges revoked. So if you got something, give something. Pay your debts.

PSA

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