A sort of embarrassing thing about this recent surge and the response to it is – this surge and these measures had to –JUST FUCKING HAD TO!– coincide with me running low on toilet paper. So yesterday, I got to be one of the hood’s only and, if I do say so myself, one of its most noticeable 미국사람s walking down the street with a giant pack of toilet paper.

Thanks only to the diabolical grace of 사틴씨, there was not a 1+1 sale and I did not run into my barber or Mrs. 박. I never would have lived this shit down. I’d be ended. Right there on the street. Just ended. These ladies are ruthless.
And I’d apologize for any damage this escapade might have caused to America’s international reputation but, well, we’re a little bit beyond that part of the story. Humpty Dumpty etc.