log: down the hill

WORMDATE: 1-310: 280- 17,945

Classes started yesterday. Well, one of them anyway. This semester (are they called semesters, terms?, I don’t know), anyway, during this block of school time, I’m taking another math class and another 한국아 수업. It is, of course, a little frustrating taking the language class in these circumstances. Not really a going out and using it time.

Taking these classes together, I am hoping for a sort of side effect. At the moment, when trying to speak 한국아, the simplest math calculation will throw me for a total loop. Brain goes straight into a sort of blue screen of death. I’m hoping that I can sort of learn to chew gum and walk at the same time. Like, I’m not expecting to be able to do quadratic equations while having a conversation, but it would be nice to be able to, when buying 야채 off the back of a truck, deal with price change caused by adding another 오이 to my order without experiencing a fucking seizure. So, here’s hoping that doing these classes at the same time helps with that. Somehow. I don’t know how brains work.

I had to head down the hill yesterday to buy some fluid. I vape. I’m not proud. But smoking was keeping me up at night. In California, smoking was fucking uncomfortable. It’s like smoking in a puddle of gasoline. One wrong spark and there goes everything. And pipes do not work in that heat. Aside from the sparks, the tobacco just becomes this weird humid mush. And the pleasant feeling of a warm bowl in your palm on a cold day day? Forget that. It was like cupping sweaty balls on a hot day. It was all awful. Just awful.

And then there was just the getting older thing. Like, laying in bed thinking, you know, granddad was only ten years older than me when the cancer got him.

But I do like nicotine. And I really doubt that I could quit the shit. Like, I’ve quit so many things but caffeine and niccotine are just fundamental. Can’t shake either. Don’t want to.

So about, god I don’t even know, five or six or seven years ago, I switched over to this electronic thing. It works for me. I even prefer it. I don’t think it’s healthy but I think it’s a lot healthier than smoking. I have a cigarette these days, I feel sick for a few days after.

The thing I hate about it is the whole culture around it. That weird nerd shit that emerges from and about everything men do. The whole culture of shithead connoisseurs where everything has to be something. Men insist on doing this weird shit to their hobbies. All I want is a quick, clean, and simple nicotine delivery system, and you end up in this whole world of self-important, judgmental neck-beards. These people are building their own rigs, comparing coil strengths, and having pissing contests about the size of the cloud they can exhale. It’s berserk. I don’t know why men are like this. I wish they would stop. The shit is annoying. It’s a drug, not a personality.

Anyways, added to the list of things where I just like how South Korea does it, is coils. All the coils are the exact same. In the states, every device takes different coils, the coils cost a lot of money, come in different strengths, and they’re all kinda crap. It’s a nightmare of bad choices about nothing important. It’s like, imagine if every electrical device you bought, came with its own three styles of plug, none of which worked well. It’s just bullshit. Here, it’s all the same coil, they all fit into every device, they work better than anything in the states, and they’re free. They’re free! Every time you buy fluid, they just give you some coils too. I have tonnes of them. And it’s nice to not ever have to ever have a conversation about coils again. It’s a boring conversation. I hate that fucking conversation. I just want to smoke.

So, yeah, whatever, I picked up my nicotine fluid. While climbing the hill on the way home, I bumped into a little old lady. I didn’t know her. She seemed to know me. (I wonder if she was part of this whole thing that happened a while back, where a little old lady fell and hurt herself on the hill near there and I tried to help out, and kept her company while more capable people were summoned.) We talked for a while, neither one of us understanding anything the other was saying. Very nice lady. I hope to see her around again.

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