log: proud of wife

Very proud of my 아내. It’s probably kind of a silly little thing but parents have started registering their kids at her school because they’ve heard what a good teacher she is. Word has gotten out. I knew it would. Especially after one of her students won a top award in English. That news spreads.

So this is no surprise to me. She has a lot of experience teaching, degrees and certificates in it, and it’s what she loves to do. Frankly, she’s just in a different class than someone who has just picked up a TESOL. Plus, you take a teacher out of the American school system where you have so many children per class and put them in a situation with about 12 kids and, well, you’re going to see results. I think a lot of really great teachers are in really bad situations. And I even think that an average teacher with fewer students is probably a lot better than a great teacher with too many. Every other job is like that.

So, yeah, I’m not surprised but I’m really happy. I’m proud to see that her work is recognized by parents. And to have that happen here? I mean, in South Korea, to put it mildly, education is taken seriously. It’s considered ‘a national obsession.’ It’s like she’s succeeding on a Big League level.

She’s also some help to me.

I have this thing. I don’t want to call it a problem because, well, my mileage varies with it. It’s more like a quality. Let’s call it that. I have a certain sort of focus. And that’s fine but, if I’m not careful, I can lose all perspective.

Recently, she helped me get some back. Like, I’ve been feeling like I’m just struggling with school. Just in this total I CAN’T DO IT sort of headspace. I’M FAILING. FALLING BEHIND! I AM LOST. The shit has me rolling around on the floor.

I told her about this and I was like – I don’t even know what’s wrong with me, right now. I’m just fucking up. I just can’t face my work. I’m frightened.

And she’s like – here’s your problem. If you don’t get 100%, you think you’re failing. And, on top of that, you always do everything in the hardest way because, if you don’t, you think you’re cheating or not learning.

I was just like – shit, she’s right.

my work on ONE FUCKING QUESTION

I took a breath. Decided to try to find a bit of an easier way to do some of these math problems and, when I only got 98% and change (actually over 100% because we’re not even really expected to do EVERY SINGLE PROBLEM) but still one question out of 70 less than perfect, I just tried to, you know, feel okay about missing that question.

And I feel much better.

trying to get my shit together

But, damn, I can really just lose all perspective. If I didn’t have her to tell me “it’s fine” every once in a while, I don’t even know what I’d be doing. I suspect I might be doing it on a bathroom wall in my own body fluids. And screaming.

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