log: finals

WORMDATE: L2-2.5: 686-39,432: 4-556

Cases are continuing to climb. For the first time since early in the pandemic, I’ve heard public officials using war metaphors. These metaphors are not used quite as lightly as they are in America. They carry more weight and a different meaning. It has less to do with glorious victory and more to do with the scale of mobilization, sacrifice, and seriousness. They’re metaphors but they mean something. We’re again on a war footing. The army has been deployed in Seoul. They’ll be conducting tests.

We’ve been warned that cases may hit a thousand a day next week before, hopefully, we see a turnaround. And that this surge is the biggest challenge so far and, hopefully, the last. We’ll see.

I’m in the middle of finals. Trying to memorize my oral exam in 한국어 and, you know, struggling with it. 힘들어요. I did not perform as well as I would have liked on the written script part of it. Some of the issue is probably that I wandered so far off the template. But I’m fine with that. I gotta try to play with this language stuff.

But doing badly on any of this is a real kick in the heart. So much effort. So little progress.

I’m trying to make some of those marks up on extra credit assignments. I don’t usually give a shit about marks but, getting to the end of this degree, I’m starting to feel a little protective of my 4.0.

Today, I’m writing my math exam. It unlocks in an hour. I probably should have studied but decided to stay up all night watching horror movies. “The Thirsty Dead” and “I Bury The Living.” I should probably be studying now.

But here I am instead. Dressed for a nervous breakdown.

I’m hoping that I learned something about taking notes since my math midterm catastrophe. Mainly to, uh, take notes and keep the steps, rules, and work somewhat organized. My previous approach of just having legal pads full of my working out of problems, complete with every error made upon the way, and rules about problems without clear examples, was incredibly unhelpful.

Then, of course, I just sort of melted down ten questions in.

However this goes, this has been one of the more challenging semesters since I started school. Some of that is probably, you know, EVERYTHING, and some of it is just trying to learn and operate in two new systems of symbols. It’s been a headfuck.

Anyway, I’m going to mumble around the apartment for a bit.

Then I’ll do this thing.

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