log: plaster cast bigfoot foot

WORMDATE: L2-2.5: 665-68,664: 25-1,125

Well, I’ve survived the first week of winter sessions. Though, it now feels weird to use that term “survived” in that context. I mean, a friend and classmate just told me that her and her whole family are now running fevers so . . . I’m probably going to have to use other language to describe getting through schoolwork. Not so much because of sensitivity but because it’s just a bit embarrassing to say. Like, the literal meaning of the word “survive” is very much back for a lot of people. In cases like this, hyperbolic metaphors don’t so much lose their teeth as they do their contact with reality.

Speaking of losing contact with reality, I rejoined twitter. When I try to think of why I might do such a thing, the sad and petty fact of the matter is, I am a sucker for dramatic timing. The service kicked the president off and I just could not resist rejoining. You just don’t get that sort of entrance timing and not walk through the door. Or maybe you don’t, if you have any sense. But I can’t resist a thing like that though. Not proud.

The fucking thing of it tho is I really have no idea how to even use the service anymore. Aside from the technical side, I can’t remember how to think in tweets. Completely lost that skill. Don’t really want it back. And, honestly, I would put, I dunno, let’s say 40% of blame for the mess we’re in at the feet of people thinking in tweets. Not even right, wrong, or in-between tweets, just in the very medium of tweet thinks. They’re not how a brain works. Not really. Not well.

I also just delete everything I tweet because why the fuck would I want it existing? That shit is a haunted house. Impermanence is not an enemy.

As far as the service itself goes, a couple of vague observations:

I wonder if Twitter and Tweeple dwelling within have any actual idea just how totally divorced from reality they’ve become. It’s a bit like . . . Okay, how to put this?

I like the Internet as a way to deliver information but hate it as a producer of information. Like, I think it’s really good at transporting an obscure movie about Bigfoot from the 1970s onto my TV. And that’s a decent role for it. When it comes to SNS, I like when people export their lives or whatever into the service. I don’t care if its presented, performed or inauthentic — I don’t have that typically youthful obsession with AUTHENTICITY. It’s fine. Live your best fake life. I’m good with that. Counterfeits are fine. I’m not so wild on the feedback of SNS modifying this presentation. That’s inevitable but also kind of sad. You end up with those Internet aesthetics and that shit is not diversity so much as a collection of stagnant monocultures. All in love with the mass spectacle.

It’s not contact with or navigation of difference. It’s just coagulating similarities.

Twitter is always responding to Twitter. It’s a whole realm of outrage and support and conversation all about what is happening on Twitter. And I have no doubt that this all feels very important to the people on it and like they’re very plugged into THE WORLD itself but Twitter not at all like the world. Most of the world does not really give a shit about it. Not that you would know this from Twitter. Twitter is only ever really talking to and about Twitter. Now, containment has, of course, been breached, but the fucking place is a dogmatic hallucination factory. It’s like one of those postmod critical things where it’s like — the text is only talking to other texts, but, you know, accurate. In this case, it’s accurate. And terrible.

It just has nothing to do with life. It’s a fucking weird world of its own.

Back to Bigfoot, it kinda reminds of this thing you often see in Bigfoot documentaries where they go into such incredible forensic detail on some aspect of a plaster cast of a Bigfoot footprint. They debate the most minute details, whether that toe could be bent, so on and so forth, and everyone just gets totally into these details. They have really dead-serious and passionate arguments about these details. They just all totally lose sight of not only the foot but even what it’s attached to while taking boththe foot and the Bigfoot for granted. Never mind the actual position of these things in the larger world. You sort of want to be like: “My dudes, are we talking about a giant man ape with big human feet being in your backyard here?”

Twitter reminds me of that.

The other weird thing, after being gone from it for so long, is the amount of real estate just installing and having the app takes up in my head. There’s now a part of my mind labeled TWITTER. It feels like a ball located to the back right of my mind. Feels like a little monkey sitting on my shoulder. Coaxing me into tweeting. Into thinking about what and when I will tweet. Rubbing his grubby little hands all over my thoughts and experiences, trying to get them into tweetable form. I suspect that I was once accustomed to this little monkey. I’m not accustomed to him anymore. I frankly do not care all that much for him. He’s fucking distracting. He’s a useless little fucker. The monkey is on notice. Grim little shit.

So, yeah, I don’t know if I’ll keep or use the account or whatever. And, if you’re big into it, no judgement or whatever. I’ve been friends with drunks, junkies, and whatever too. Insofar as one can be. People need what they need and they do as they please. But it is what it is.

And what else . . .

The numbers are still trending in the right direction here. So that’s good.

And I guess there’s some controversy about the tests for my Korean Civ class. Some students are unhappy with some of the questions. I did fine on the tests and didn’t complain to the professor though my wife was not so lucky. I do get why they’re upset. The professor is saying, in her defense, that the quizzes are meant to be difficult and we were warned. I get that and I’m fine with that. But there is a difference between difficult and unfair. Parts of these tests veered into unfair. That’s to say, they asked questions on facts and subjects that were not covered in the modules or the textbook. Things we were not taught.

An example: We were asked about a specific Buddhist sutra. Now, we were assigned, as two parts of a 33 part assignment, to learn about contemplative and scholastic Buddhism, which also weren’t subjects specifically covered in our textbook or modules. But that’s fine. Just means these are subjects that require independent research. In the course of my readings, and I probably did more than what is average or even sane, this particular sutra never even came up. It’s a pretty specific sutra and it’s really pretty deep in the weeds on one particular topic, which we were learning about more in the context of broader trends in Korean history. I’m no expert but it seems to me to be a level of detail more appropriate to a class on the history of Buddhism in a unit dealing with a particular era of a certain school. In that case, I could see being quizzed about this specific sutra. But this class is much broader.

I think a question like that is basically unfair. There were a few like that.

I don’t mind difficult but, you know, something like that isn’t even hard nor is it particularly educational. It doesn’t teach you understanding of the thing or provide any context. It’s just not even really on the point. It’s just sort of stupid shit masquerading as difficulty.

But still, it’s a really good class.

And today, if I ever get out of this blog post, I got to finish up the chapter in my 한국어 class. Really enjoying this one too. I sort of feel like, once I’m done this class, I’ll have enough raw info and basic tools to actually start practicing and learning the language. The beginning almost seems in sight. As does the end of this post.

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