log: umbrella

WORMDATE: L2: 646 -134,117: 4-1,916: 2.5%

It’s hot cloud season. Meaning, it’s that time of year when we spend a lot of time living in a hot cloud. I like it. Fog is my favorite weather. But, spending as much time as I do traipsing around at night in a dark foggy drizzle, I’m feeling like I should get one of those Bladerunner style umbrellas. Something with an LED light. I’ve been pretty dissatisfied with my umbrellas.

Of course, I didn’t need an umbrella in California. Between it being California and it being California in a drought, I just never required a fucking umbrella. In Toronto, I had a few. Quite a few. (Odd side benefit of being a server is that you’re never without an umbrella – people are constantly forgetting the things and never returning to pick them up.) But I’ve never like umbrellas. Prefer a raincoat. Problem with that here is, the heat.

So, thinking about umbrellas. I’ve had a few. Had one of those illegal ones with a concealed weapon — not a sword, sadly, just sort of a long sharp and stabby icepick. Had another that was reflective on the bottom and lit up to cast a spotlight down on myself. A variety of normal ones. But the thing I really like in an umbrella is for it to not blow apart with the first gust of wind and for it to have a hooked handle. That hook is important. You can hang the thing off your forearm when you need both hands for something. I need that fucking hook and a lot of umbrellas lack it. Generally, I just want a thing of reasonable quality, decent durability, and with a bit of flash. Doubling as a weapon is also fine.

The LED ones are all pretty janky. I doubt you could even crack a child over the head with one without it breaking, though you may be able to poke a banker in the chest pretty well.

An umbrella that meets my requirements is a bit out of hand on the price scale. Like, if it was up to me and money wasn’t an object, I’d probably say ‘oh well, fuck a hook, it has a bludgeon and looks great for sharp poking’ and go for the Alexander McQueen skull handled umbrella, but, as is, I just can’t.

Alexander McQueen’s Silver Skull Folding Umbrella for Men

Even if I could afford it, I’m basically of the school of thought that I never buy anything that I can’t afford to fuck off. I’m not sure how I feel about a strong wind fucking off hundreds of dollars but I know it’s not a good feeling. As stylish as that thing might be, the effect would be somewhat lessened by the sight of me crying in a rainy street because the wind broke my umbrella. Lacks a certain insouciance. As does clutching it for dear life, beady eyes darting around for potential umbrella theives.

So, anyway, I’m probably just going to drive myself crazy with this and do nothing about it, moving from stopgap to stopgap, until the season passes.

As far as everything else goes, it goes pretty well. I haven’t really been following pandemic news because, honestly, what difference does it make? We know what to do, we’ve been doing it for over a year, and we’re going to be doing it for some time to come.

From what I’ve overheard, the vaccination rollout here is going much slower than expected and there might be shortages. I was pretty psychologically braced for all of that so I’m not all that worried. Shit like this is complicated and difficult and it’s just not going to be pretty and it’s probably never going to feel fair. Even if it was all done as perfect as possible, it would still be aggravating. And it just seems like the sort of thing where, if you’re in a country that’s handled Corona well, it feels a bit unfair to be shunted to the back of the line but it’s impossible to justify getting the vaccine before countries that are suffering severe outbreaks.

Though, of course, not like that’s really a problem. Most of this is being done on the basis of $$$ rather than best medical practices. It’s still a bit sickening to see people in Canada and the US clamoring to vaccinate school-children before shipping free vaccines to India or other heavily impacted areas. Feels like, after all this time, a lot of people still just don’t get it.

Umm, what else? Don’t know.

Here’s a cat.

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