log: finished final

벌레 일지 WORMDATE: L3: 1,725– 203,926: 2-2,106: 39.3%-14.2%

Well, that’s in the can. I wrote my math final yesterday and received my grades for the course. The final went well though Proctorio should be fired into the sun. I ended up with 99% on the final and 100.84% for the course. And that being my last course for the AA, I guess I now have a degree in anthropology. Got through that with a 4.0. So that’s okay.

So that’s my first degree — if you don’t count cashier’s school.

You should probably count cashiers school though. That manual was huge. And, honestly, it all serves pretty much the same purpose and masters as a college degree.

Funny thing is, I used to respect people who had degrees. Now I just sort of think that apparently any idiot can get one. Though, why anyone would want to is a bit beyond me. All due respect to academia, and I’m thrilled to be learning shit (I love learning) the whole thing seems a bit like a grift.

I have a couple of weeks or so before I start going after my BA in anthro. I’m both looking forward to it and a little nervous. Just sorta one of those — what if I can’t do it? sort of things.

But, at any rate, I’m going to spend the next couple weeks reading, writing, relaxing. And cleaning. These high intensity classes fuck with my chore schedule.

I know pretty much everyone it seems has spent the last almost two years bashing online schooling and, I suppose, if you had no choice, it might be terrible. And, god knows, the classes I took that were just shunted into the Internet were pretty . . . I don’t want to say “terrible.” Everyone is trying. But they weren’t great. There’s a way to teach online and a way not to teach online, and ZOOM isn’t really a part of the good way to teach online. I know some professors and I know they think it’s really important to hear them speak (n real-time, no less) but, well, there is a fairly recent technology called “writing.” Might want to look at it.

Mainly, though, I really like online learning. If not for online learning, there’s basically no way that I ever would have ever gone to school.

Online just works better for me. I work better if I can set up my own schedule. Always been a night person. And I don’t see getting up early in the morning as being indicative of a work ethic or moral fiber. I’m also pretty self-directed. I do better without someone breathing over my shoulder. Teach me the shit, give me the problems, the tools, to solve or examine them, a supply of nicotine and coffee, and just let me go. That’s what works for me. Being left alone works for me. I’m hardcore night-shift. Always been that way.

The one thing about these classes that I’m a little fed up with is the student introductions. It might just be the repetition. And I do understand the point of these things –getting to know your classmates is probably a good idea– but, yeesh. It seems like, in some effort to increase our engagement with each other, these introductions have grown increasingly baroque. When I started, it was just introduce yourself and reply to two classmates. Then everyone started doing this “tell two truths and a lie” thing. Then, my last class, it was a whole fucking scavenger hunt. I’m just not into all that. I’ll get to know you. Or not.

But, probably, the worst thing about the introductions is having to lie. Every single time, we’re asked the same sort of thing. What is the key for being successful in online schooling. And we all give the same answers. We say things about time management, focus, and doing a little every day. Problem is, it’s all bullshit. The key for being successful in online schooling is the same thing it is with everything else: Money. Money buys time, and you need time.

That’s how I got 4.0.

Even when I was working, I had the luxury of working only four shifts a week and the “fuck-it” that allowed me to negotiate when those shifts would be. A lot of my co-workers had no such luxury. A lot of them were working two or three jobs, all part time, for a total of about 80 hours a week, plus commuting — keeping the job at Ralph’s just because it was the only one of their jobs that had a union and therefore provided health coverage. And that’s before you even get to things like having kids or sick relatives because, god knows, you can’t have a life outside of work. A life outside of work? Why, that’s just bad choices!

On top of all that. the schedules changed every week, which could be its own time consuming juggling act, never mind what it does to your sleep schedule. Like, before I went back to school, the bosses often manipulated the schedule so that I could work a month with only three days off, while never hitting full-time hours. Some of those days off? It would be like Tuesday, work until 11PM. Wednesday off. Start work at 1AM Thursday. Not really a day off, is it? And to get a schedule that would give me the time to do school, I had to fight with the bosses, call in the union, threaten to quit, and all sorts of shit. Just to get the shifts no one else even wanted! No one even wanted to work when I wanted to work! Weekends!

And they told me –they promised me– that they could work with that schedule before they even moved me to the meat department. It was a condition for me accepting!


yeah, i know, alright? I still love this album.

And all that is pre-pandemic. It’s all worse now. Much worse. From what I hear, anyway.

So, yeah, we have to tell these lies about time management etc., and read the articles about how successful people (billionaires, it’s always fucking billionaires) organize their days for maximum productivity, and, sometimes –Satan, have mercy– watch a TED Talk to tell us about time management skills, and it’s all just fucking bullshit and I’m sick of it.

Just sick of it.

But I don’t want to start my classes with some demoralizing middle finger, so I write the intro posts and tell the lies too. But the fact is, I’m able to manage my time because I have time to manage. For most people, time manages them. And their managers manage that time. Pretending otherwise is just making people responsible for shit they have no control over.

Fuck management.

Anyway, I’m going to mop the floor.

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